Main » 2009 » February » 6 » New Interview with Bobby G. Bodenhamer, creator of the book "Mastering Blocking & Stuttering A Cognitive Approach to Achieving Fluency"
New Interview with Bobby G. Bodenhamer, creator of the book "Mastering Blocking & Stuttering A Cognitive Approach to Achieving Fluency"
1:25 AM
I have been interested in Neuro-semantics and NLP for a long time, since there are many interesting books out there on it. When I found out that one of the big names in Neuro-semantics and NLP, Bobby Bodenhamer, had began to help people with stuttering, I was very interested. So I thought, why not make an interview with him? And it turned out that Bobby was very friendly and helpful!
I am sure this will help many stutterers out there. I believe very much in this new approach on stuttering treatment. So, please take your time to read this interview =)
Before you read: PWS stands for Person Who Stutters.
1) Exactly, what is Neuro-semantics? What's the original meaning of it?
FROM WWW.NEUROSEMANTICS. COM:
"Neuro-Semantics is actualizing your highest and best. It is making real your highest meanings and visions, and it is implementing your best values and ethics.
"Neuro-Semantics is a field wherein we model the essential structure of experiences using positive psychology models including a great deal of Neuro-Linguistic Programming that focus on accessing the best resources and the highest meanings.
"As such, Neuro-Semantics is about performance—performing your highest meanings so that what you know you can do. It is about meanings—adding the most robust meanings to your life to make things more meaningful and significant."
2) How come you took you step into Neuro-semantics and NLP, and what has it meant to you?
I AM A CHRISTIAN MINISTER. AS SUCH I ATTENDED EVERY CONFERENCE THAT I COULD WHERE I COULD FIND SOME USEFUL SUBJECT MATTER FOR THE MINISTRY. WHILE ATTENDING A CONFERENCE ENTITLED "RECLAIMING THE INACTIVE CHURCH MEMBER", I ALONG WITH 25 TO 30 OTHER MINISTERS WERE INTRODUCED TO NLP.
WE WERE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THE POTENTIAL OF THE MODEL AND WE WANTED TO LEARN MORE. WE KNEW THAT WE HAD FOUND A MODEL THAT WE COULD BRING OUR BIBLCAL TEACHINGS TO WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM AND UTILIZE THE TOOLS IN OUR MINISTRY TO OUR PARISHIONERS.
WE WERE NOT DISSAPPOINTED. SINCE I WAS IN CEREMONY, I HAVE HAD AN INTEREST IN WORKING WITH PEOPLE IN HELPING SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS. INDEED, I ALMOST CHANGED MY MAJOR FROM THAT OF THEOLOGY AND PREACHING TO PASTORAL COUNSELING.
THE MORE I LEARNED ABOUT NLP, THE MORE I WANTED TO LEARN. INDEED, MY MAJOR FOCUS QUICKLY REVOLVED AROUND LEARNING ALL THAT I COULD ABOUT NLP AS WELL AS LEARNING HOW TO APPLY IT BOTH IN MY LIFE AND IN THE LIVES OF THOSE TO WHOM I HAD OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH.
What do you think is the case of stuttering and blocking?
Do you think it is a cure for stuttering?
Do you think it is important for the PWS to work with his stutter?
IF THE PWS HAS A DESIRE TO GAIN MORE AND MORE FLUENCY, THE PWS WILL OF NECESSITY HAVE TO COME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS THAT IS CAUSING THEM TO STUTTER IN SOME SITUATION AND NOT TO STUTTER IN OTHER SITUATIONS. THIS WILL BY DEFINITION LEAD THEM TO THAT WHICH TRIGGERS THEM TO STUTTER IN SOME SITUATIONS AND NOT IN OTHER SITUATION. THIS IS NOT ALL THEY MUST WORK AT - THEY MUST LEARN "HOW" TO MINIMIZE THE MENTAL FRAMES THAT ARE BEHIND THE FEAR AND ANXIETY THAT TRIGGERS THEIR STUTTERING. THIS WILL ENTAIL RESEARCH, PRACTICE AND IN ALL LIKELIHOOD THE INVOLVEMENT OF THEMSELVES WITH A NLP/NS THERAPIST AND IF ONE ISN'T AVAILABLE THEY HAVE THE OPTION OF WORKING WITH A COGNITIVE THERAPIST, OR BETTER YET, A COGNITIVE PSYCHOLOGIST.
Do you have any tips for the PWS? YES, HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT WHAT TRIGGERS YOU TO BLOCK AND STUTTER. STEP OUTSIDE ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU MAY HAVE LEARNED ABOUT STUTTERING AND HOW TO GAIN FLUENCY IF THESE PROGRAMS DID NOT INCLUDE HANDLING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES AROUND STUTTERING.
OPERATE FOR A MIND SET OF CURIOSITY BY ASKING YOURSELF FOR EXAMPLE: "HOW IS IT THAT I AM FLUENT IN SOME SITUATIONS SUCH AS WHEN I AM ALONE (THERE MAY BE OTHER CONTEXTS.) BUT WHEN I AM IN FRONT OF MY BOSS MAN I BLOCK AND STUTTER?"
DOES NOT THE TRUTH THAT MOST PWS ARE CONSISTENTLY FLUENT IN SOME SITUATIONS BUT NOT IN OTHERS INDICATE THAT THERE IS A "CHOICE" GOING ON HERE? OF COURSE THE CHOICE IS NOT CONSCIOUS - IT IS UNCONSCIOUS. BUT DOES THIS FACT NOT POINT DIRECTLY TO SOMETHING GOING ON THAT IS NOT PHYSICAL IN NATURE BUT IS IN FACT A PART OF COGNITION FOR WHEN BY MYSELF I AM CALM AND RELAXED. I DON'T FEAR ANYBODY JUDGING ME SO I DON'T STUTTER. BUT WHEN I AM IN FRONT OF MY BOSSMAN I AM TERRIFIED THAT I MIGHT BLOCK AND STUTTER AND HE WILL THINK I AM A LOSER. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? REMAINING IN THE STATE OF BEING "OUTSIDE" HOW YOU MAY HAVE BEEN TAUGHT ABOUT STUTTERING AND OPERATING FROM A MENTAL FRAME OF OPENNESS AND CURIOSITY, DOESN'T THE MIND HAVE TO BE INVOLVED IN DETERMINING WHERE AND WHEN YOU BLOCK AND STUTTER?
Do you think it is important for the PWS to accept his stuttering?
YES I DO. HOWEVER, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THEIR ACCEPTING THEIR STUTTER AS SOME "THING" THAT THEY HAVE AND THAT THEY WILL NEVER OVER COME IT. I WOULD LIKE TO RE-WORD THE QUESTION JUST A LITTLE BIT BY ADDING THE CONCEPT THAT IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE PWS ACCEPT "THEMSELVES" AS SOMEONE WHO STUTTERS ONCE IN AWHILE. "STUTTERING IS NOT WHAT I AM FOR I AM FAR MORE THAN A STUTTERER. I AM A PERSON OF INNATE WORTH THAT HAS LEARNED AN UNUSEFUL BEHAVIOR CALL STUTTERING."
Do you think, that once the PWS accept himself as a stutter, the invironment, will start to accept his/her stutter?
BY CHANGING THIS QUESTION TO MAKE IT ABOUT HOW THE PWS FEELS ABOUT "HIMSELF/HERSELF", YES IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE PWS ACCEPTS HIMSELF/HERSELF AS A PERSON WHO STUTTERS BUT WHO IS A PERSON OF GREAT WORTH AND VALUE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE THE BEHAVIOR CALLED STUTTERING.
THE PWS WILL BY LOVING THEMSELVES AS A PERSON OF WORTH IN SPITE OF THEIR STUTTERING WILL PORTRAY SUCH A PERSON AND WILL DEMAND GREAT RESPECT FROM PEOPLE AROUND THEM. MOST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHETHER YOU ESTEEM YOURSELF HIGHLY OR NOT. LET THEM SEE A PERSON OF SELF-WORTH WHO BY THEIR VERY NATURE DEMANDS RESPECT. REMEMBER, YOU ARE A PERSON WHO HAS A BEHAVIOR CALLED STUTTERING; YOU ARE A PERSON WHO IS FAR MORE THAN A STUTTERER... FAR MORE!
Do you think the PWS can learn something from his stuttering, instead of just feeling frustrated?
ABSOLUTELY, JUST TODAY I HAD TWO PWS CLIENTS TELL ME THAT IN A WAY THEY ARE THANKFUL FOR BEING A PWS BECAUSE IT HAS TAUGHT THEM TO BE COMPASSIONATE WITH THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE THEM MOST. THE PWS KNOWS HOW TO "HURT WITH THOSE WHO HURT". MY LAST CLIENT TODAY STATED THAT SHE BELIEVED GOD WANTED HER TO TAKE WHAT SHE IS LEARNING ABOUT HOW TO GAIN MORE AND MORE FLUENCY TO OTHER PWS AND GIVE THEM ASSISTANCE.
THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT THE PWS NEEDS TO LEARN FROM THEIR STUTTERING. FOR EXAMPLE, UNCONSCIOUSLY, ALL BEHAVIOR HAS A POSITIVE PURPOSE FOR US. AND, STUTTERING ALWAYS HAS A POSITIVE PURPOSE FOR THE PWS. MOST AREN'T AWARE OF IT BUT WHEN STUTTERING WAS BIRTHED IN THE PWS, THAT BEHAVIOR PROVIDED SOMETHING THE PERSON FELT THEY NEEDED AT THAT TIME.
AGAIN, I WILL TAKE MY LAST THERAPY SESSION THIS AFTERNOON. IT WAS MY FIRST SESSION WITH THIS PWS. INTO THE SECOND HOUR OF THE SESSION, OPPORTUNITY CAME FOR ME TO GO FOR THE HIGHER PURPOSE OF HER STUTTERING. AT FIRST I WAS CONFRONTED WITH A LOT OF RESISTANCE. SHE JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT HER STUTTERING.
I KEPT DIGGING AND IT POPPED OUT - SHE SAID THAT HER STUTTERING WAS TO PROTECT HER. I ASKED HER, "FROM WHAT"? SHE RESPONDED, "FROM HURT"? THIS VERY ATTRACTIVE 36 YEAR OLD SINGLE MOTHER CAME FROM A HOME WHERE HER FATHER HAD LEFT BEFORE MY CLIENT COULD REMEMBER. HER MOTHER DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER AND HER BROTHER SO SHE DROPPED THEM OFF AT HER PARENTS (MY CLIENT'S GRANDPARENTS) HOUSE AND THEN HER MOTHER LEFT AND IT WAS NINE YEARS LATER BEFORE SHE SAW HER MOTHER AGAIN. SHE WAS ONE YEAR OLD WHEN HER MOTHER LEFT. HER MOTHER NEVER PROVIDED A HOME FOR MY CLIENT. SHE GREW UP IN HER GRANDPARENT' S HOME.
THERE WAS MUCH MORE PAIN THROUGHOUT MY CLIENT'S CHILDHOOD AND TEENAGE YEARS - SOME OF IT HAD TO DO WITH STUTTERING. MY CLIENT WAS HURTING. SHE WAS HURTING BAD. IN ORDER TO EASE THE "PAIN", SHE TURNED TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. SHE IS JUST NOW SAYING GOOD BY TO MARIUANA AS A CRUTCH IN HER LIFE. SHE HAS BEEN SOBER FOR 6 MONTHS.
"PAIN" - THAT IN ONE WORD DESCRIBES THE PURPOSE OF MY CLIENT'S STUTTERING - TO PROTECT HER FROM OTHER PEOPLE; PEOPLE WHO MIGHT HURT HER. WE CALL THIS PHENOMENON "SECONDARY GAIN". EVERY NEGATIVE THOUGHT-FEELING HAS A POSITIVE INTENT FOR ITSELF. THE PROBLEM COMES IN BECAUSE THE BEHAVIOR NOW IN ADULTHOOD WILL NEVER GET THE OUTCOME THAT IT WANTS. INDEED, THE PART THAT WAS HANGING ON TO HER STUTTERING TO "PROTECT" HER INDEED CAUSED FAR, FAR MORE HURT THEN DID THE PART HANGING ON TO THE STUTTERING.
THE THERAPY INVOLVED IN PRESERVING THE HIGHER INTENT OF THE PART - TO PROTECT HER FROM HURT. WE FOUND ANOTHER WAY FOR HER TO PROTECT HERSELF - IT WAS THROUGH HER RELIGIOUS FAITH THAT SHE FOUND ULTIMATE PROTECTION. AND, WITH THAT, THAT PROTECTING PART DISSOLVED.
THIS IS JUST ONE EXAMPLE OF THE COMPLEXITY OF THE STUTTERING MIND. EACH PWS WOULD DO THEMSELVES A GREAT BIG FAVOR IN LEARNING FROM THEIR STUTTER AND IN LEARNING HOW THEIR STUTTER HAPPENS. "FRUSTRATION" LEADS TO MORE PRESSURE WHICH WILL LEAD TO MORE BLOCKING. "LEARNING" WILL PRODUCE FRUITS OF UNDERSTANDING AND ULTIMATELY TO A MUCH FREER MIND THAT SPEAKS FREELY.
Is it usual that Neuro-semantics techniques has long-lasting results with stuttering, fear, anxiety, etc?
IN ASWERING THIS QUESTION I MUST FIRST STATE CLEARLY THAT NLP/ NEURO-SEMANTICS IS NOT A "QUICK FIX" THOUGH ON RARE OCCASSIONS, IT HAPPENS.
I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN WORKING WITH PWS FOR SEVEN YEARS NOW. SO, I HAVE A FAIRLY LONG TRACK RECORD WITH THOSE CLIENTS WHO FOLLOWED THROUGH WITH BOTH THE THERAPY AND THE SOMETIME YEARS OF PRACTICING. AND, IN THOSE CASES, THE PWS ARE ACTUALLY FREER AND MORE FLUENT THAN EVER. AS THE YEARS PASS BY AND AS THE PWS LEARNS MORE AND MORE JUST HOW TO "RUN THEIR OWN BRAIN" THEY GAIN MORE AND MORE CONTROL OVER THEIR SPEECH UNTIL THEY REACH THAT MAGICAL POINT WHERE "STUTTERING" NO LONGER HAS A PLACE IN THEIR BRAIN.
WHEN THE PWS REACHES THIS POINT, THE POINT WHERE THEY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STUTTERING OR HOW THEY ARE TALKING, THEN THAT PWS IS NOW "NORMALLY FLUENT". FLUENT PEOPLE NEVER THINK ABOUT HOW THEY ARE TALKING. THEY JUST TRUST THEIR UNCONSCIOUS MIND TO GIVE THEM CONTENT AND THEN THEY DO WHAT IS NATURAL - THEY SHARE FREELY.
What have you improved yourself, with your knowledge and understanding of neuro-semantics and nlp?
IT HAS RADICALLY CHANGED MY LIFE. IT HAS HELPED ME TO "GROW UP" IN MY THINKING. AS THE YEARS GO BY, I AM GAINING MORE AND MORE FREEDOM FROM OLD MENTAL STATES AND BEHAVIORS THAT IN ACTUALITY WERE CHILDISH - SUCH AS BELIEVING THAT I WAS ONLY AN "IGNORANT MOUNTAIN MAN" WHEN IN FACT I HELD AN EARNED DOCTORATE AND SERVED A LARGE CHURCH AS PASTOR.
AND, IT HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED HOW I DO MINISTRY. FOR A LONG TIME I FOCUSED ON PREACHING AND TEACHING. BUT WITH JESUS WHOM I FOLLOW THERE IS ANOTHER LEG TO MINISTRY - HEALING. NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY 40 YEARS OF MINSITRY, I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE A BALANCED MINISTRY - ALL THREE LEGS OF THE STOOL ARE NOW IN PLACE: PREACHING, TEACHING AND "HEALING".
AND, I SUPPOSE THAT I SHOULD MENTION THAT THROUGH NLP/NS AND THROUGH THE WRITINGS I HAVE CONTRIBUTED THROUGH BOOK FORM, ARTICLES AND 4 WEB SITES THE WORLD HAS OPENED UP TO ME.
Do you believe neuro-semantics can help people feeling happy and thankful of life?
ABSOLUTELY!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
Thank you for accepting the interview, I hope not there's to many questions. You dont have to answer all of them.
I TRUST THAT MY ANSWERS WILL PROVE HELPFUL TO THE PWS. THEY DESERVE ALL THE ASSISTANCE THEY CAN GET. --
I hope you liked the interview!! If youre interested in Neuro-semantics, check out this links: www.neurosemantics. com www.renewingyourmind.com www.masteringstuttering.com
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